Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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