Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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