If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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