How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
birth control should be required to get into college
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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