Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
