It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
