i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
