If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
