her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
