i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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