those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
