I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
