Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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