I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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