Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
