Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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