I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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