how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
