Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
