I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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