i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
