Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
