I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
