Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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