I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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