I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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