Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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