i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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