We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
