Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this just has baby written all over it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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