i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
