HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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