I hope mine doesn't look like that
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
