What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
