when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
