i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
