We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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