So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
