I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
