after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize