What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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