It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
