Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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