Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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