I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
