So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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