It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize