Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
