Need sex. Gaining weight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
