is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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