I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
