So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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