i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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