That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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