I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
