One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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