I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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