just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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