she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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