drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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