Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
