Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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