I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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