how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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