whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize