I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
